Shame is insidious. It informs how we perceived ourselves, others, and the world. It makes us believe we are wrong and it minimizes our self-worth.
When we think to ourselves:
▪️”I can’t…”
▪️”I’ll never be good enough”
▪️”I’m always messing up”
▪️”I can’t do anything right”
▪️”If people knew the real me they’d hate me”
▪️”I don’t deserve to be happy”
This is shame.
Shame is an overwhelming belief that we are unloved because there’s something wrong with us.
▪️It leaves us feeling unworthy, inferior, undeserving, or bad.
▪️It beats us up and can potentially change our sense of self.
▪️It leave us settling in relationships and careers.
▪️Living with shame is often lonely because we don’t feel we deserve connection.
▪️It contributes to a general mistrust in others.
▪️It can manifest as perfectionism, workaholism, addiction, or people-pleasing and prevent you from meeting needs related to acceptance, love, intimacy, hope, productivity, or self-esteem.
How do we heal from shame?
▪️Find your safe space.
▪️Acknowledge the inner child who continues to look for love and recognition.
▪️Learn to love yourself.
▪️Talk about your thoughts and feelings with someone who will listen to the details of your experiences, show compassion, and believe your deepest truths.
Shame is natural, however, you do not have to live with it forever. Keep in mind, shame begins to disappear in safe spaces where you feel seen, heard, and validated.
Self-help information and information from the internet is useful, but it is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are currently in treatment or in therapy, please consult your therapist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional .
