Toxicity in relationships can mean different things to different people. Often the phrase “toxic person” is used to describe someone who is overtly or covertly manipulative, self-centered, needy, or controlling. These relationships leave you doubting your own reality, your values, and your sense of self-worth. In some relationships, emotional, psychological, or physical abuse might exist.
Often such behaviors manifest from childhood trauma, low self-esteem, narcissistic personality disorder, or other deep-seated issues. People who display toxic behaviors might also put their interests over others’ and justify their behavior in order to avoid guilt or shame.
Some traits you’ve noticed may be obvious while others may be more subtle. Some include:
- Judging others and difficulty offering compassion
- Manipulation
- Believe everything that happens around them is a direct assault on them
- Lacking ownership and accountability, blaming everyone else
- You feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” around them
- You frequently changing your behavior to adapt
- They don’t accept “no” very well and don’t respect your boundaries
If there is someone in your life who continually leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, or guilty, you might be dealing with someone with toxic behaviors. Here’s a few tips on how to cope:
- Set healthy boundaries
- Seek relationships based on fidelity, kindness, mutual trust, loyalty, and support
- Avoid getting pulled into the drama
- Avoid becoming the “fixer” in the relationship
- Lessen your contact with them
Remember, if someone in your life is toxic, it is not your fault or your responsibility. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in all of your relationships. Also keep in mind that you have the power to choose how to respond, particularly when you’re being treated poorly. Most importantly, if necessary, prioritize healing from any pain that their behavior has caused by connecting with a mental health professional.
Self-help information and information from the internet is useful, but it is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are currently in treatment or in therapy, please consult your therapist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional.
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